


Dayenu

by xslytherclawx



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Canon Jewish Character, Collection: Purimgifts Day 3, Found Family, Gen, Jewish Holidays, M/M, Pesach | Passover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:06:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22982203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xslytherclawx/pseuds/xslytherclawx
Summary: Alexis wants to have a Passover Seder.David doesn't know why everyone's going along with this.
Relationships: Alexis Rose & David Rose, Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49
Collections: All Your Faves Are Jewish, Purimgifts 2020, xslytherclawx's jewish fic, xslytherclawx’s events collection





	Dayenu

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mosca](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mosca/gifts).



> Chag semeach, Mosca!

Passover is actually, strangely, Alexis’s idea.

David doesn’t really know how to react. Part of him thinks it’s, like, actually a really great idea! Patrick knows _some_ things about Judaism, and while David could never really be described as _observant,_ it’s not like that makes him any less Jewish.

There’s just one small problem with having a Passover Seder:

No one in their family can cook.

David can, like, not burn an egg, and there was the whole enchilada thing, but there’s a little more required for cooking for a Seder than that. There’s, like, matzoh balls and gefilte fish and a roast and David doesn’t know what’s even _in_ all that.

But Patrick loves the idea. So it looks like they’re having a Seder.

* * *

When he brings his concerns up to Stevie in a very mature and dignified manner, she isn’t moved.

“Why don’t you just find some recipes online and ask Patrick or Twyla to help?”

“Okay, Stevie, can Twyla cook though? Like, the café is the only restaurant in town, and you can’t just like, by frozen Passover food, toss it in the oven, and go.”

“First of all, I’m pretty sure you can do exactly that. And second – it’s really not that hard to follow a recipe.”

“Um, no. _I’m_ pretty sure that you have to make everything from scratch. It’s like, tradition, or whatever.”

“Then find a recipe. It shouldn’t be hard. Passover’s a pretty big holiday.”

* * *

The really weird thing is when he brings it up to Alexis, she assures him that she has everything handled.

When he – again, in a _very_ mature and dignified manner – asks her how she plans on cooking everything on her own, she says, “I _said_ I’ve got it covered, David, geez. Have a little faith in me; is that so hard?”

It is. Especially when he knows Alexis can’t cook. He’s pretty sure she’s actually been responsible for burning down someone’s holiday villa because she didn’t realise the burner was on.

He certainly doesn’t trust her to cook for _Patrick_ for Passover. He needs to come up with a plan.

* * *

He shows up at Ted’s place early, and fully expects to find the entire house in disarray.

What he finds, however, is Alexis ordering Ted, Twyla, and Stevie around the kitchen like – well, like he doesn’t know what.

“Um, what’s going on here?”

“What does it look like, David? We’re cooking Passover dinner.”

“How? You can’t cook. _Ted_ can cook, but–”

“Um, I can definitely _cook,_ David. Besides – I’m mostly delegating.”

Stevie shoots him a look to try to tell him that it’s not worth it. To just move on.

He opens his mouth to argue when Patrick walks into the kitchen. “Smells delicious!”

“Aw, _thank_ you, Patrick,” Alexis coos. She turns to give David a sharp look. _“Someone_ appreciates my effort.”

“Okay; I think it’s more Stevie, Ted, and Twyla’s effort, though.”

“Why don’t we open the wine?” Patrick says, which David knows is just to try to avoid an argument, but… well, maybe he has a point.

“Fine,” David says, heaving a sigh. To Alexis: “Don’t think this is over.”

* * *

Ted, Twyla, and Stevie stay for dinner, which is fine because they basically cooked the whole thing (and he’s _definitely_ going to be grilling Stevie about this later), and his parents are… normal. And the whole thing is kind of nice.

His dad doesn’t have any idea how to lead a Seder, so David takes over halfway through just to _get through_ it. He makes Alexis read the Four Questions, because she’s the younger sibling (even if he’s not _totally_ sure that she’s the youngest one in the room), and it’s not, like, the _worst_ thing ever, though she’s still, like, actually tone deaf.

David doesn’t really care; he’s watching Patrick, who’s acting like this production is the most amazing thing he’s ever seen.

David kisses his cheek. “Do you see what you married into? There’s no take backs.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

* * *

(image description: digital doodle of a cat wearing a kippa with the caption "cat mitzvah") 


End file.
